Brown, Ellen Schur
Cleveland Jewish News
01-07-2005
Parents talk to kids about sports, about school, about what's for dinner.
We freely answer our children's questions about politics and interpersonal
relationships. Why, when they ask about God, do we squirm in our chairs or
tell them, 'Ask a rabbi'?
Parents needn't be intimidated when children ask difficult questions, said
Rabbi Bradley Shavit Artson, co-author of I Have Some Questions about God
(Torah Aura Productions, 2002. 118 pp. $11.95), who spoke here at the
United Jewish Communities General Assembly in November.
In I Have Some Questions, six different rabbis answer real questions from
kids -- and they don't always offer the same answers.
When children ask about God or why bad things happen, Artson, dean of the
Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies of California's University of Judaism,
encourages parents to start talking. His best hint for parents is to tell
children that no one has all the answers.
'It's all right to give an answer like, `Well some people think this, but
other scholars think this,' or `Great question -- let's look it up,'' he
said. Just entering the conversation sends the message that talking about
religion is important to you.
'Don't say, `Ask the rabbi,' because that's code for saying real people
don't worry about this,' he said.
Here are some common questions kids ask about God -- and a way to start a
conversation.
1. Who made God? Does God have a Mommy?
This is a question about the nature of God's existence. Maimonides teaches
that physical things have a beginning and an end, but God is not a physical
thing. God has no beginning and no end.
Feel free to tell your child this is a very big question, and people spend
their whole lives thinking about it, Artson suggested. Emphasize that there
is no single right answer.
2. How do we know God is real?
Artson has a handy trick: Ask your child to touch your arm or your
forehead. Easy. Now ask the child to touch your love. Tell your child, 'You
can't touch my love because it's not a physical thing. But you feel it, and
you know it's real.'
We sometimes make the mistake of thinking things are most real when they
are concrete. That's backwards, said Artson. Patriotism, virtue and loyalty
are more real than the clock in your first apartment. Even though you saw
that clock every day, you probably can't remember it now.
3. Did God make everything? Did God make dinosaurs?
Even very young children see this problem because they learn there are no
dinosaurs roaming the world, and yet, here's Barney, a big purple dinosaur
on TV. Are grownups lying? They are really asking how to integrate science
and belief.
Explain that there are different kinds of questions. Science answers 'How'
questions like, `How does the sun light up the earth?' Religion answers
'Why' questions, and when it's a question of meaning, we find truth in the
Torah.
The Torah is a poem, meant to be read as metaphor, commented Artson.
Genesis may not be factually scientific, but we can stake our lives on the
truth of the story that God created humans. 'That all people are created
equally is a religious concept,' he continued, because clearly some people
are more intelligent, more beautiful or more athletic than others. 'If your
child agrees that all people are created equal, then they believe in the
Torah, and they believe that God created everything.'
4. Why did Grandpa have to die?
When children ask about death, it's often the deal breaker for their
believing in God, suggested Artson. He offers this analogy for children:
When you get a haircut, your hair is on the floor, but that's not you on
the floor.
'You use your body in this world, but you are not your body,' he said.
'When a loved one no longer needs that body, we take care of it to show
respect and love for the dead person, but now their spirit is with God.'
Many Jews don't realize that Judaism believes in life after death, Artson
Added, because to them it sounds like a Christian concept.
5. Why did my Mom get sick? Why do bad things happen -- like, for example,
the recent earthquake and tsunamis?
People want suffering to be some kind of divine punishment, but that's not
always the case. Explain that there are different reasons why human beings
suffer, Artson counseled, whether it's a natural disaster (like a tsunami)
or a personal tragedy (like not getting picked for the soccer team).
The universe works in a certain way. Physical things end. They crumble or
die, or they are destroyed by fire or flood. That's the nature of the
physical world.
'You may feel sad, but you can't blame God,' said Artson.
Because people are free, they are free to do bad things and abuse their
freedom. If people could only do the right thing, there would be no free
will. 'So when Nazis kill Jews, that's not God's problem, it's humanity's
problem;' he said.
In one ancient legend, there is a secret room in the heavens where God goes
to cry because of all the terrible things people do to each other.
In the face of tragedy, we can praise God by helping to comfort the
survivors and giving tsedakah, according to the book I Have Some Questions.
Never tell children that suffering is not bad or that it's for the best in
the long term.
Sometimes just validating the question helps children find their own
answers, Artson concluded. 'Ask children what they think, because sometimes
what they want to know is much simpler than the question we think they're
asking,' he said. You'll be surprised when you clarify the question how
often children come up with great answers for themselves.
Article copyright the Cleveland Jewish News.
V.95;
Cleveland Jewish News
01-07-2005
Parents talk to kids about sports, about school, about what's for dinner.
We freely answer our children's questions about politics and interpersonal
relationships. Why, when they ask about God, do we squirm in our chairs or
tell them, 'Ask a rabbi'?
Parents needn't be intimidated when children ask difficult questions, said
Rabbi Bradley Shavit Artson, co-author of I Have Some Questions about God
(Torah Aura Productions, 2002. 118 pp. $11.95), who spoke here at the
United Jewish Communities General Assembly in November.
In I Have Some Questions, six different rabbis answer real questions from
kids -- and they don't always offer the same answers.
When children ask about God or why bad things happen, Artson, dean of the
Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies of California's University of Judaism,
encourages parents to start talking. His best hint for parents is to tell
children that no one has all the answers.
'It's all right to give an answer like, `Well some people think this, but
other scholars think this,' or `Great question -- let's look it up,'' he
said. Just entering the conversation sends the message that talking about
religion is important to you.
'Don't say, `Ask the rabbi,' because that's code for saying real people
don't worry about this,' he said.
Here are some common questions kids ask about God -- and a way to start a
conversation.
1. Who made God? Does God have a Mommy?
This is a question about the nature of God's existence. Maimonides teaches
that physical things have a beginning and an end, but God is not a physical
thing. God has no beginning and no end.
Feel free to tell your child this is a very big question, and people spend
their whole lives thinking about it, Artson suggested. Emphasize that there
is no single right answer.
2. How do we know God is real?
Artson has a handy trick: Ask your child to touch your arm or your
forehead. Easy. Now ask the child to touch your love. Tell your child, 'You
can't touch my love because it's not a physical thing. But you feel it, and
you know it's real.'
We sometimes make the mistake of thinking things are most real when they
are concrete. That's backwards, said Artson. Patriotism, virtue and loyalty
are more real than the clock in your first apartment. Even though you saw
that clock every day, you probably can't remember it now.
3. Did God make everything? Did God make dinosaurs?
Even very young children see this problem because they learn there are no
dinosaurs roaming the world, and yet, here's Barney, a big purple dinosaur
on TV. Are grownups lying? They are really asking how to integrate science
and belief.
Explain that there are different kinds of questions. Science answers 'How'
questions like, `How does the sun light up the earth?' Religion answers
'Why' questions, and when it's a question of meaning, we find truth in the
Torah.
The Torah is a poem, meant to be read as metaphor, commented Artson.
Genesis may not be factually scientific, but we can stake our lives on the
truth of the story that God created humans. 'That all people are created
equally is a religious concept,' he continued, because clearly some people
are more intelligent, more beautiful or more athletic than others. 'If your
child agrees that all people are created equal, then they believe in the
Torah, and they believe that God created everything.'
4. Why did Grandpa have to die?
When children ask about death, it's often the deal breaker for their
believing in God, suggested Artson. He offers this analogy for children:
When you get a haircut, your hair is on the floor, but that's not you on
the floor.
'You use your body in this world, but you are not your body,' he said.
'When a loved one no longer needs that body, we take care of it to show
respect and love for the dead person, but now their spirit is with God.'
Many Jews don't realize that Judaism believes in life after death, Artson
Added, because to them it sounds like a Christian concept.
5. Why did my Mom get sick? Why do bad things happen -- like, for example,
the recent earthquake and tsunamis?
People want suffering to be some kind of divine punishment, but that's not
always the case. Explain that there are different reasons why human beings
suffer, Artson counseled, whether it's a natural disaster (like a tsunami)
or a personal tragedy (like not getting picked for the soccer team).
The universe works in a certain way. Physical things end. They crumble or
die, or they are destroyed by fire or flood. That's the nature of the
physical world.
'You may feel sad, but you can't blame God,' said Artson.
Because people are free, they are free to do bad things and abuse their
freedom. If people could only do the right thing, there would be no free
will. 'So when Nazis kill Jews, that's not God's problem, it's humanity's
problem;' he said.
In one ancient legend, there is a secret room in the heavens where God goes
to cry because of all the terrible things people do to each other.
In the face of tragedy, we can praise God by helping to comfort the
survivors and giving tsedakah, according to the book I Have Some Questions.
Never tell children that suffering is not bad or that it's for the best in
the long term.
Sometimes just validating the question helps children find their own
answers, Artson concluded. 'Ask children what they think, because sometimes
what they want to know is much simpler than the question we think they're
asking,' he said. You'll be surprised when you clarify the question how
often children come up with great answers for themselves.
Article copyright the Cleveland Jewish News.
V.95;
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