The truth of youth: Poetry becomes an important outlet for at-risk kids at the Monterey County Youth Center who long to express themselves. - The Monterey County Herald (Monterey, CA)

Byline: Marc Cabrera

Jun. 29--Posted on the wall outside Araceli Flores' office is a poem titled 'Alone.'

'Sitting here trying to pass the time/nowhere to run, nowhere to hide/ pain grows stronger, fills chills inside/ losing all support, now I'm left behind ... '

The poem captures the sorrow and angst of young residents at the Monterey County Youth Center, a juvenile detention center in Salinas.

'Alone' was written by a former resident at the youth center, where Flores works as a psychiatric social worker for the county health department. Flores said the girls she works with display writing talent, be it poetry or journal writing.

'These are future writers,' said Flores. 'Their only outlet is poetry.'

At the center, young people ages 13 to 17 serve time but are afforded more opportunities for rehabilitation than at Juvenile Hall. Among the resources available at the youth center: drug and alcohol counseling, family therapy, anger management and tattoo removal. Recreational activities range from horseback riding to horticulture to sports.

Residents attend school during their stay, and after they have served a certain amount of time, are allowed to leave the grounds on weekends and sometimes during the week to attend classes, apply for jobs or visit family.

The biggest issue facing most residents is gang involvement, according to Kevin Baglin, a senior officer who has worked at the youth center for almost six years.

'That's the biggest issue, getting them out of the gang mentality,' said Baglin, a stout Asian man who sports a goatee and colorful tatoos on his right arm. 'When you mix that with drugs and alcohol, it can be a problem.'

Students are allowed free time in the evenings. Flores said the girls usually spend their time reading or writing poetry.

'That's all they do,' she said.

On the boys side, the creativity is there, but not shared as freely. It has to be coaxed out of them.

For Mother's Day, events coordinator Alex Carrillo thought resident moms might like a poem as a gift. Carrillo organized a poetry contest with the male residents.

Though he was aware of their writing talent prior to the contest, he was surprised at how the mothers reacted to reading their sons' work.

'We had moms in here crying,' said Carrillo, noting that male youth center residents rarely get a chance to be so expressive.

The contest was such a success Carrillo held a similar one two weeks later for Memorial Day weekend. This time, residents stood before their peers to recite poems. Again, the response was positive.

'Everyone was applauding everyone,' said Carrillo, who started working at the Youth Center in January after more than a decade as music director and on-air personality at Salinas radio station KDON.

'I've been writing poetry for years,' he said. 'It's hard for me to do it, so I'm sure it's twice as hard for them (to read in front of a group).'

Baglin said he notices male residents writing a lot of rap lyrics, which is acceptable among their peers.

'In a form, it's poetry,' Baglin said.

However, it's not the only style practiced. Another poetry contest was held by a tri-county teenage pregnancy prevention program. Two of the top three winners, including the grand prize winner, were residents of the Youth Center.

'Maybe that little reward will give them incentive when they're released,' Baglin said. 'Maybe they'll take (writing) classes when they leave here.'

Carrillo said poetry offers residents a chance to reveal personal truths creatively.

'It's therapeutic. Sometimes seeing what they write on paper is a glimpse into who they are,' Carrillo said. 'The creative juices are amazing.'

For the girls, the creativity is ubiquitous. Flores said she offers visual art to prompt a poem. Pictures, Aztec art and other cultural references line her wall as inspirational devices.

'You would trip out on the stuff they see,' Flores said.

Flores said she has a stack of poems on her desk, all written by her girls. She is hoping to turn them into a poetry book.

'If they were to get that stuff published,' she said, 'Not only would they be able to make some money, they would be helping a lot of kids out.'

That way, other incarcerated youths won't have to feel so alone.

POEMS FROM THE HEART

A sample of poems from residents of the Monterey County Youth Center. Because they are minors, residents' full names cannot be used for publication:

Kids!

There's a boy in my class that no one really talks to

Maybe cause his hair is blonde and his eyes are baby blue

Or maybe cause his skin is white and many think he's racist

but how come they won't ever say hi

why don't they just face it?

There's a boy down the hall who people talk about

because they're scared he might break their nose or even knock them out

Is it because his skin is black or he comes from a bad place of town

or is it because he never smiles or ever makes a sound

There's a boy that walks this school that people always made fun of

Did they ever think that he would walk around school carrying a gun?

Did they think that he would go into a bathroom that day

And did they even look up to the sky and ask

why he took his own life away?

People never notice that the kids who have no friends

are always the ones who lose in the end

Why couldn't they just take their time

instead of judging those kids.

And even though people can't turn back time

Just think about those kids

cause you might save a life

-- by K.M.

Hateful

I once was hateful and shallow too,

Then a day came and fate led me to you

It astonishes me all the beauty you possess

And it almost hurt how I longed for your caress

But beauty is only skin deep

I know this as I sit and weep

for a beautiful woman I could not keep

They say

'Set it free, let it go

if it comes back you will know'

I knew you wouldn't

I kept trying to tell myself you would,

but I couldn't,

my heart from the beginning

told me I shouldn't

But I had a dream,

and in it,

so sweet your face did seem,

so soft and fair,

your skin, your hair

your lips, the taste

and how words flowed from them with grace,

as my heart began to race,

my knees to buckle and brace;

With a star, I realized I was

between sheets with lace,

and no longer was I in that place.

So, I lit a cigarette,

and contemplated what to do;

My heart soared and wondered

as I thought of you

But dreams can be deceiving,

and love misleading, especially

when it comes to you.

Festering inside you is a world full of hate,

I'm sorry I couldn't help you before it was too late.

Meeting you has helped me grow,

I've learned many things I did not know,

about hate and love,

and what you reap is what you sow

-- by D.M.

Inspire

You inspire me to let go of my past

It makes me want to take off this mask

The one that hides all of my emotion

It's a token to be outspoken

I can finally laugh it's such a blast

Even though at times I still want to fight

I can't help but cry when a homie dies

especially if they were always down to ride

But you taught me a new way of life

and it's such a sight

When I am learning how to make everything right

I can't wait to escape my nightmares

and to wake up to know that someone's there that really cares

It makes me less scared

It makes me feel free and happy

I am becoming more aware of my behavior

you're right it's not nice

It's hard for me to change but I got to re-arrange

I can still be a G on the streets

cause it's my survival technique

But in here is a new way

so I got to drop my mentality

If I want to succeed at being free

off probation with no parole

'cause CYA along with an early grave ain't the way

So here I am stuck in time

trying to stay clean and keeping my mind

off the pipe even the bottle

cause it makes me blue and it puts me in yellow

I am trying so hard to stay strong

that's why I must write down my song

hopefully it doesn't sound wrong

cause it's coming from my heart

and it's starting to make its mark

in healing my broken heart,

see I can't really run from my past

and it's hitting me with a blast

So will you take my hand

and help lead me through this trance

cause this is my one last chance

for me to continue to stand!

-- by A.L.

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Copyright (c) 2007, The Monterey County Herald, Calif.

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